True tough guy
I have always known that Eugene has a long commute from Hsinchu to Taipei everyday, but I didn't really know how bad this was until I had an internship in Taipei this past summer. I commuted with him on most days: we try to get out by 6:15 to take the bus to Taipei, then we would try to do DT together at a café. We always looked forward to the wonderful 1.5 hour nap on the bus to Taipei and the seats on these buses are actually really comfortable, so this is really not bad at all. Originally I thought we'd be able to have some wonderful fellowship on the bus ride…I mean, sometimes it is hard to find time to pause to talk to Eugene when things get busy. But we didn't really talk on the bus, except saying good night to each other the moment we found our seats, no words exchanged but wonderful fellowship nonetheless.
My internship was pretty easy; if I had to leave early or take time off, I just had to ask. Everyday, I got off at 5pm and caught the bus back to Hsinchu, but because of the bus route and traffic, I rode the MRT to Taipei Main Station to transfer to the bus to Hsinchu and stepped into our home slightly before 8. But for Eugene: only on a good day would he be able to get off at 5. He usually gets off at around 6 and gets home around 9 or later. I only did this for a few weeks during the summer but Eugene has been doing this for over one year now.
The most exciting part of this commute with Eugene was on Friday night. Friday Night Plus starts at 6:30 with dinner and Bible study starts at 7:30 so it was pretty obvious we can't make it back in time if we took the bus, but good thing there was the high speed rail, which took about 1.5-2 hours door to door including the MRT and taxi ride to and from the high speed rail station. I could get off work early very easily but Eugene would always be super tight with time. He would get off work, run to the MRT station, swim through the Friday night crowd at the MRT station. He knows exactly how long it takes to run from work to the MRT and how long the MRT takes to get to the main station and exactly what time the high speed rail takes off. He also knows to take the middle car on the MRT and stay close to the door so he can beat the crowd exiting one of the two small elevators and staircases. After that, we ran pretty hard to the exit and high speed rail transfer point. Most of the time, he gets on with one or two minutes to spare, but because he gets on so late, all the seats are taken. So we find a place to stand, and as I am trying to catch my breath, Eugene puts down his bag, takes out his Bible study outline and reviews it during the 40 minute ride. We'd always stand in car #9 because Eugene has figured out that it always ends up being closest to the stairs where we get off. After arriving in Hsinchu, we rush off again, beating the crowd to the stairs to catch the taxi to get to campus for Bible study.
I thought this was kind of fun and exciting for the first two weeks, but it soon began to be a little unbearable. At times, I would feel disoriented as I got to FNP and just wanted to disengage and complain: man! I can't concentrate. But before I could begin complaining, I would see Eugene getting up to the stage to teach Bible study: man! I have NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT, so that pretty much ended my whining. Because I did this with Eugene, I went through my internship okay, and was emotionally stable for the most part. I really have no idea how Eugene does it.
The most amazing thing is that I never sense that Eugene is overwhelmed with stress. I know he gets tired but he always has the spirit to joke around with us, hang out with us, and make fun of us. I never get from him the sense that the world is caving in. I remember I would get that from people sometimes: it's overs for me… It's overs man… this is overs, and I would soon feel stressed too. Eugene instead always has the spirit to spend time with us. Sometimes he would jokingly tell us: I am stressed because you guys refuse to take the cross and give Bible study and Sunday message. He'd always make the most of the opportunity to make fun of us: you know you can be the answer to your own prayer and concern for me by just stepping up to teach and preach. Of course, none of us have the courage to really step up, so he just laughs at us for a little. This is all done good-naturedly of course. I am sure he does feel tired and stressed but he never makes a big deal out of his stress. So very often, I'd say, if he is doing okay, then I should be doing okay, and honestly, this has really been the solution to many small stressful situations for me. I just learn from him, not to make a big deal out of the situation, keep up my spirits and just go through it. Most of the time, what I conceive to be stress is really not that big of a deal, so by just keeping up my spirits and going through it, I am just being true to reality.
Of course, Eugene is not a robot. He gets sick, tired, sleepy, and stressed at times. We know and see this because we live with him. But no matter how tired he is, or how many Bible studies or Sunday messages he has to give, how many times he has to do the crazy commute, he always has the spirit to hang out and just bring his lively spirit to our midst by making fun of and taunting us. We always have so much fun and laughter hanging out with him. And often we'd have so much fun together that we forget he has the burden of teaching Bible study and Sunday message every week. Sometimes we would hang out on Saturday night and realize: oh shoot! You have to give message the next day right, do you have enough time to prepare. He bobbles his head and laughs a little. This is my fearless leader.
I am sure among the leaders, among people who have gone before me, many have gone through similar or tougher situations and kept up their spirit and their faith. I want to emulate them and walk in their footsteps. In the mean time, I am just really thankful to be able to work side by side and see in detail and firsthand how this kind of emotional toughness and resilient faith is lived out. I think this is God's lesson for me as I am emotionally weak and wimpy, losing sleep over the slightest inconveniences.