It is a day that I thought wouldn't come for another week (and therefore more time for me to mentally prepare myself), but because of last minute changes, that day is coming all too quickly. Tomorrow will be the last day in Joyland for James and I. Both of us have served as Joyland teachers for 5.5 years. We have been here long enough to see some of these cute little children grow, graduate from Joyland, and then come back to serve alongside with us as Joyland teachers. If you were to ask me just a few months ago what I imagined myself doing for the rest of my life, I would have said to be a teacher in our children's ministry. I just couldn't have imagined otherwise. Seeing kids with each passing year able to cognitively understand a bit more about God's love for them and seeing them earnestly seeking God, working alongside with other Joyland teachers to make Sunday mornings possible, hearing the simple message of the gospel and being personally spoken to, brainstorming and fellowshipping around the dining table at Teacher Michelle's place to come up with ideas for curriculum, skits, activities...at the end of every year when we considered whether to commit to another year in Joyland, it didn't take that long for me to decide because it was just set that I wanted to be here for another year.

However, this changed a few months ago when we took a trip out to Taiwan. And through the series of events that took place afterwards, and the specific ways in which we experienced answers to prayers, we believe that God has called us to serve at our Taiwan church for one year. They are in need of more people, especially sisters, and especially with the responsiveness of so many of the college students there, we saw the need and wanted to respond. Though we are excited to see how God will work over there, it was a difficult decision to make just because Joyland has a soft spot in our hearts. Next week we will be on our way to Hsinchu, Taiwan and enter into this new phase of experiencing God. And that will be an exciting day. But for now, as I take this time to think about tomorrow...the last time I'll get to unload the trailer, roll out the carpets, set up the projector screen, sit with my Joyland kids and sing praise songs with the most enthusiastic praise leader ever...I'm sure in the midst of all of that, it will be colored with some sadness.

I experienced a bit of Immanuel this past weekend. Immanuel means “God with us” (Matthew 1:23), and we took our children to visit with the elderly residents of Emmanuel Convalescent Home this past Saturday. The kids woke up early on their Saturday morning, came to church, baked cookies, made Christmas candles and potpourri jars for the residents. We wanted to teach our children that Christmas is for giving more than for receiving gifts from others and to show them how blessed they are to grow up in this kind of community with one another, where they are never lonely or neglected. It was amazing to see them; they weren’t scared at all, each of them boldly approached the grandpas and grandmas they met, said a hearty, “Merry Christmas!” and shook and held their hands. They sang Christmas carols with all their hearts. We shared with them that Christmas is when God came near and we wanted to share that joy with them by coming to be with them. Their faces lit up as they saw the kids and it made us all realize again the precious gift of the good news that we possess that we can share with others.

This past semester was my first opportunity to be one of the teachers for the Free English Class offered by the International Student Ministry (ISM). One exciting moment for me was when I invited my students over to my house for a BBQ lunch over the weekend along with Jesse and his students. We had roasted chicken along with a side of asparagus and pasta with two different types of sauce. I’m not sure how accustomed they were to our American portions or taste but they expressed their thanks and much appreciation to me later on. That lunch was a very fond experience for me because it was after that event that one of the attendees really began to connect with me. He has since been coming out to our ISM Friday Forum events and is very well plugged in with many of our members.

What is more amazing is that this scholar had English teachers back in his hometown that had ministered to him for a year before he came to the states. That is why he has been so curious about church. I just think about the odds of this individual hearing parts of the gospel message and now being connected to our ISM group through an ad he saw about our English class that was posted near his housing complex. It’s so amazing to get glimpses at how God orchestrates incredible circumstances in peoples’ lives.

I recognize that many of my English students are top-notch, cream of the crop, stellar scholars from around the world. Being able to hang out with them and to share an occasional meal was a real treat to me because it has been through these times that we were able to bear witness of Christ’s love through our actions of love toward them – and if all it takes is some pasta, then sign me up again!

At first sight of the TsingHua International Student Activity Center where our bible studies would be held, we were struck by how big the room really was. It had a nice stage area equipped with speakers, projector and screen. In a separate partition, there was a café area with 3-4 square tables, nice bar-style seating at the outskirts of the room looking out full-length windows, and nicely furnished with couch sets. We thought the room was simply too big for our purposes – and could only dream of the future where we can utilize the stage for praise and pack such a big room. However, this was by far the best-lit and cleanest room on both campuses and also allowed food, so there was really no other choice. We thought we should just section off part of the room to create a cozy atmosphere and not intimidate the students.

How quickly did all of that change after Pastor Ed and Kelly’s visit! From their wisdom and guidance birthed Friday Night PLUS or Zhou Wu Zhi “Jia”. PLUS in Chinese is “jia” which is also the word for “family.” This branding of our bible study captures the vision inspired by Pastor Ed and Kelly: we hope to make our bible studies the most happening thing on Friday, something a bit more (plus) than your normal Friday night, and a place where people can experience community (family).

As I walked into our very first Friday Night Plus two weeks ago, I already sensed a complete change in atmosphere. I felt like I was entering something big. I was officially welcomed by Caroline’s friendly face and a registration table filled with Koinonia-Hsinchu brochures and Friday Night Plus flyers. There were also additional resources available with Chinese titles of Mere Christianity, Problem of Pain, Case for Christ, etc. People were seated in circles throughout the room caught up in conversation within cozy family-like groups and enjoying homemade, delicious Italian pasta, garlic bread, and salad. Then the night continued with rocking praise by our Hsinchu praise band and finally our bible study led by Eugene with his interactive Powerpoint presentation. It brought back a taste of home – all the effort and care that is poured out into each bible study, all the preparation, just doing everything it takes to make it attractive and appealing and something you would want to come back to. It was definitely a step toward making this the most happening thing on campus so that people would be drawn. 15 students came that night, and for the first time, there were more students than our Taiwan team.

Week two, we only expected a handful of people to come. People had said they wouldn’t be able to make it, and yet, God was faithful in just bringing so many people. The room that we thought we couldn’t fill anytime soon was actually packed. We had just enough food –luckily Allen and Cynthia brought the extra buns – the Philly cheesesteaks were scrumptious and quite a hit. People kept trickling in throughout dinner that I was losing track of the faces and then we found ourselves out of chairs! A total of 25 students came. The awesome thing was that they came from all different venues – the BBS postings that Kan has now mastered, Phil’s English class, the NTHU English corner that Phil/Greg lead on Wednesday, and even some contacts whom our SMT members met. The majority of them stayed for our post bible study activity. The night ended on a sweet note. The remaining students – some first-timers, some regulars –right alongside us, helping us re-arrange the room, clean up, and load the van. It was a touching and beautiful picture. One student captured it best – saying that he thought a lot more people would want to come to this and exclaimed how he definitely would invite his friends. We were all astounded and amazed throughout the night and attributed it to all your prayers at home. Thank you for all your prayers and support!

Life is not about me. It’s about God, the gospel, and what He is doing in the world. Life is all about what God is doing and not about what I am doing and what I can do. The first week of my stay in Cambodia, I was struck by the level of poverty that I saw and I was heart-broken by the kind of circumstance and environment that people and children were living in. Many of the houses that I saw were but planks of uneven wood put together with a sheet of metal used as roofs. As I saw the children that came to Life University, many of them did not have shoes on, their clothes were dirty, and their teeth were all rotten and black. It was hard for me to see these children being dropped off at their homes, as their homes were located in alley ways and they were living in destitute conditions. Going to Tuol Sleng on our way to Life University was unbearable, as I was brought to imagine the tragedy of this unspeakable evil that happened not that long ago. And seeing many people on the streets, children who were so lost, simply struggling to make a day to day living made me really sad and I started to wonder how things are really going to get better.

Then I looked at our mission team’s efforts during the first week of my stay: running short 30 minute chapel times for one week, teaching different kinds of classes on English, Art, Music, etc. and constantly thinking about how to better communicate & serve the students at Life U. Frankly, I felt that our efforts were so small and I began to doubt what difference can we really make during our short time here. I found myself getting teary-eyed many times just thinking about the people, their tragic history, and their destitute conditions.

But God started the work of changing my perspective as I went out to visit people in the villages. On Tuesday of our first week, a group of us had a chance to visit a mother of one of the kindergarten girl at Life U. Her name was Salet and when we told her that we came from the US to share about God, she told us that she already believes. She agreed that because people don’t know God, people commit all kinds of bad things – that she even see older men going to bed with young children and she grieved over human wickedness. She also told us that she has a neighbor who would like to hear about God and called her over right away. Her neighbor’s name was Hea-An and we presented the bridge gospel presentation to her and when we asked her what she thought of it, she asked “How can I be a good Christian?” I think I told her that with any broken relationship, you come to tell the other party sorry and ask for the relationship to be restored and same with God. She told us that she cannot attend church because she had to take care of her family and work on Sundays. I responded that new Christians are like newborn infants who need spiritual feeding from mature Christians who have known God longer. I also tried to encourage her by telling her that God knows the number of hairs on her head and that God will make provisions for her and her family. We asked her if she wanted to make a decision to become a Christian, she emphatically said, “Yes”. I confirmed her understanding of the bridge, then the fact that she is a sinner and she said yes to all this. I felt humbled by her simple trust in what I had shared and we prayed for her decision. After we were done with prayer, I couldn’t contain my thankfulness and amazement of the moment and I was reminded of what Jesus said about the whole heaven rejoicing over one sinner that repents. I felt so joyful as I shared this with her and she shed tears with me. The amazing thing is that the following Sunday, she came to church with Salet on a moto even though it was raining quite a bit. I really did not do or say much, but it was God who had been at work in this woman’s heart to prepare her for the moment. My eyes begin to open to see God at work.

I also visited another family with a mom, dad, and a grandmother who happen to visit her grandchildren. We shared the gospel with them and the man’s response was “How can I have a relationship with God?” Although he did not make a decision he told us that he wants to learn more about the Bible so that if others were to ask questions to him, he would be able to respond “confidently” and “sincerely”. Apparently he has been listening to a Christian station on the radio in the mornings from 4:30 – 5:30am. With this and many other visits, I felt so encouraged to know that the message of Christianity and God’s love & truth was being communicated. So many people that I met in the villages have already heard about the gospel or they were at least very open to listening.

I think that the best experience that I had on this trip that broadened my perspective of God being at work was through our overnight stay at a village called Bot Veng. This village is a snake capital of Cambodia and was a remote place that we needed to go on a boat. We got a chance to spend 3 days there and I got to really bond with the children through teaching and playing. They were so affectionate and open towards us and were eager to learn and spend time with us. I got a chance to really bond with a group of first grade girls and they were so attached. I loved the singing time, especially when they sang “Your Love is Deep” and I really felt that God loved these kids so much. Who can really separate them from God’s love? The answer is “Nothing!” With the little that we do, they loved it and I was so thankful that we were able to teach and put in their hearts the seed of the gospel and the truth about God’s words to them. I got to visit some of their parents and families as I did door to door evangelism and I was encouraged to hear that they have heard the gospel at least once and some were part of a cell group, where a Bible leader would come and teach the Bible. I felt so much hope for this village because the gospel had come.

“My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I, too, am working” (John 5:17). What I saw and experienced these past 2 weeks made me realize that God is indeed at work and I am simply called to join and participate in what He is doing already. So many times this past year in doing ministry, the focus was usually on me – in terms of what I needed to get done, what I needed to say, what I needed to think up, etc. In giving my efforts and energy, I often found myself losing steam and getting tired. It was because I believed that so much of what’s going to happen and what has been happening depended on me. But through this mission trip, it became so clear that God is the main character who is doing the work of drawing and moving people to himself and working in their hearts. As Tony and I will be involved in leading a Kairos group this upcoming school year, I want to simply allow myself to see what God is already doing and join Him in His work. I feel like the shift happened from trusting myself and what I can do to trusting in God and what He can do.

What I was really inspired, rebuked, and challenged by were the Christians that I had met throughout the trip. A group of Bible students came with us to Bot Veng village and they were so servant-like and humble, taking care of everything for us, from buying all the food for our 3 day stay, bringing mats, and other amenities we would need for sleeping and cooking. They would wake up and start cooking breakfast from 6 in the morning, only to start preparing for lunch, then dinner for about 30 of us. They were squatting most of the time to cook, wash, and so quick to meet whatever need we had. Furthermore they would stay up until 2 am to keep the generator going just in case any of us would need to use the restroom. Doing all this and more, they were cheerful and rather grateful to us for doing what we did for Cambodia. One Bible student named Jesse, on our last night’s stay in Penom Penh, cleaned all our rooms and bathrooms while we were out eating breakfast. I was humbled and rebuked by their service and humility, as I thought about how I often want to do things for my own satisfaction, to gain recognition from others, or doing things with a grumbling heart. These Bible student’s were full of gratitude and cheerful service and I could not but to term their lives as “beautiful”. Their lives really melted by heart and drew me closer to them. Timothy Rhee at the leaders’ Bible study group shared how being a spiritual leader is not so much about preaching and words, but about living out the gospel with our lives on a day to day basis. It is with my life, the way that I am serving, interacting with others, the way that I am spending my time, money, and energy that the gospel can be communicated to the people around me and I committed to the people around me and I repented of having driven by many wrong motives.

Another lesson that God taught me regarding my attitude towards starting Kairos ministry is that I really had nothing to point to as an excuse to say that I am not ready. Many Christians that I met who were doing ministry and evangelism in the villages, leading even more than one church at a time were so young. They were in their early and mid 20s but they did not waste time thinking, hesitating, saying that they are insecure about this, inadequate in that, or even needing to take care of their personal lives. Rather, with what they learned in Bible school and what they knew to be true, they went out boldly, trying to meet the spiritual needs of so many people in numerous villages. They understood that people are so needy and they did not waste time mulling over anything. Compared to them, I had been a Christian longer than they have, have been trained in the Bible and even apologetics so much more, and have had the blessing of being part of a strong and supportive Christian community, and it would be so inappropriate of me to try to hide behind some small insecurity or inadequacy that I felt. I have received so much and have been trained so much and I am more than ready to be fully involved in God’s work.

One concrete application that I want to apply is to live a life of gratitude and simplicity. Being out in the villages made me realize that I take so many things for granted. I am thankful for the clean water that I can wash with, for drinking water, for hot water that come out at the turn of a faucet, for roads that I can walk on without having to worry about leeches or snakes biting or being sunk in very deep mud, for soap, for food, for my cushioned bed, etc. While so many of these villagers don’t have access to these things, I somehow have the privilege to enjoy them, and I ought to always thank God for all these and should never complain about anything. Furthermore, I realized that I need to live a life of simplicity if I am going to live a focused life of living out the gospel and doing God’s work. The Christians that I met who had the most impact on me were people like sister YoungRan, Bunny, Maria, etc. who really had no concern for their personal comfort, possessions, and desires, but spent their time, money, and energy in showing God’s love and truth to people. YoungRan was always on her feet trying to arrange meetings for Christians (nursing students, Christian lecturers/professors), non-Christians so that more people at Life U can become Christians and for Christians to grow more in their faith. Brother Bunny was someone who graduated from Bible School at Life U, and is currently pasturing 2 churches, and works at Life U as a secondary teacher for his income. He is very poor, but he uses part of his income to sponsor 2 students to get education/go to school. He has such a burden for people and he would do whatever he can to meet the needs of the people.

What also really struck me through visiting many different village churches in Cambodia, as well as meeting Christian leaders there is that there are so many people who suffer for the gospel. In fact, there is really nothing they can gain or benefit from preaching & living out the gospel, and they are simply struggling to be faithful to their ministries because they believe that the gospel is true. Our team visited a church in a village that had many Muslims and a mosque & I heard that this is one of the villages where some people attempted to burn houses down because of the Christians. I really felt for the pastor whose very life and his family was not stable and in danger, and these experiences really opened my eyes to recognize that there are so many people suffering for the gospel. In contrast, as a Christian, I gain and benefit in so many different ways: resources, relationships, co-laborers, help with many different aspects of my personal life, etc. and these blessings do not necessarily follow every believing Christian. I committed to pray more for the brothers & sisters in other parts of the world who are trying to remain faithful and stand up for the truth of the gospel.

I am so thankful that I had an opportunity to go on this mission trip to Cambodia and for the many lessons that He has taught me. I only pray that I will never be the same from the insights I gained and the commitments that I made.