During this year I have to say that the one thing I have come to know in a deeper way is that the Lord is indeed good and He desires to bless His people. During the first Servant Leadership Training Retreat this year, Pastor Ed gave a message on Genesis. One of the points that he started with and continued to stress was that God has blessed my life. He continued to say that unless I have a strong sense of being blessed by God then I would have warped views about who God is and how he operates. God has blessed me and once I learn this then I can appropriately boldly partake in the work He has prepared for me. This was an important lesson that I dwelt on as I reflected on 2007.
One way I have experienced God’s blessing is having the opportunity to go into full-time ministry as I have been praying about going full-time for years now. There were times I sat on the fence wondering if I really should commit my life to full-time ministry. I don’t think I had a rose-colored view of full time ministry. I saw the sacrifice and discipline of Pastor Ed, Pastor Jonathan, and Timothy, and I wondered if I could ever serve God in the same way. I was flipping through my old bible and I saw a note to myself that said, “Committed my life to full-time ministry on January 20, 2003.” It was not a commitment that I made because I knew I could serve in the role. No, the reason why I committed to serve full-time is because I realized that God had given me so much in my life. He has blessed me abundantly and provided for me in ways I could never have imagined. The only response I could give at the time was to give my whole life to Him in response.
I was so faithless in my prayers and in fear I vacillated between committing my life to God and pursuing after my agenda. This year I began to pray earnestly about full-time ministry. My motto starting in January was praying "living for heaven in 2007." During my 6-week sabbatical from Genentech in July, I had the opportunity to do some business with God and I really sought His will for my life. This was a time of struggle and prayer because letting go of my career was not easy for me. I grew up poor and always dreamed of working for a top company and Genentech was voted the top company to work for by Fortune magazine. I also went to college and majored in Biotech to work for Genentech. There were definitely a lot of fears and concerns but I often went back to our key verse for the year Joshua 1:9- “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”
I went back to our key verse again and again as I worked through all my fears and the details of making such a decision. I have been the breadwinner for my family since I started working at the age of sixteen. My immediate and extended family has various financial needs. Lastly, Karen and I were expecting our first child in October, and if this kid is going to eat anything like me then our food bill would be through the roof. I was thinking about quitting a very stable job just as my wife and I were starting a family. In the midst of these financial worries and life changes, when I added up all the math I was taking a significant pay cut leaving the top company to work for in the nation. Some people would think this is crazy; hey, I honestly thought it was crazy at the time, too.
Also on the topic of me being trained to be a pastor, I had to give that some serious thought and reflection. Come on - me, Lem, a pastor? If you asked anyone who knew the old me if I would grow up to be a pastor, people would laugh in your face. My fears concerning the spiritual responsibility and accountability of going full-time was something that kept me up at nights. I told God that I was still so raw and had so much to learn about growing in humility and developing character that would honor God. A pastor needs wisdom, discipline, steadfastness, calmness, and all the fruits of the Spirit, and frankly I am lacking in many of these characters. I also know that being a pastor is much like being a missionary - in the words of Amy Carmichael “a chance to die.” I observed Pastor Jonathan’s life of sacrifice with the many nights of counseling, attending to various needs of the church, attending to the sick or dying at the hospital, baptizing people, marrying couples, and the list goes on and on. I asked myself if I am ready for that. The answer was no, but God had called me and he would never call someone to a task unless he was going to prepare that someone, right? I clung to the promise that I should not fear but trust that He will be with me wherever I go.
God had given me a personal calling and it’s a different calling for each person, but the question God asks is always the same--am I going to obey? His promise is that He will be with me. It was very clear that he wanted me to heed His personal call for me to go into full-time ministry. Even though I was faithless to my commitment God was faithful. He took my commitment in 2003 seriously and he gave me another chance to make good on a promise I gave years ago.
I returned to work after the sabbatical and wrapped up all my projects and in September of 2007 I drafted my resignation letter to the company and sent it to my group. I wrote: "I am leaving the company for a God given calling- a purpose driven life. My vision has always been to help people in the best way God has gifted me. This year I have decided to leave the marketplace and follow my calling to be a Pastor at my local church. This will require education, training, and focus. Rather than being torn between two great realities, I have chosen to give my heart and energy fully to the calling God has given me. Thank you again for all of your support in my very important life decision." I received so many e-mails of support from various people in the company. Unbeknownst to me, my Director forwarded my resignation letter to the senior leadership team of the site and it trickled down the organization. She wrote: “Lem is a loss for Genentech but a huge win for God.” Another senior manager at the company wrote: “Lem, God Bless you and keep the Faith!!!! Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” I was able to share with my decision with many coworkers and used the opportunity to invite them to church and encourage them to give Christianity some thought. My interim supervisor was about to cry when I shared the news with him on Monday morning. He told me this was his first resignation ever and he counts it a blessing because someone was resigning to obey God’s calling. Just yesterday, he said, the pastor of his church challenged the congregation why so few people were not obeying God’s call for their lives. I even had a chance to share my decision with a Vice President of our company. It was such an opportunity to share with these rising corporate stars that God alone is worthy of all praise, allegiance, and devotion, not the American dream everyone is striving for. I give God the praise because I learned that through all my fears and trepidation, if I simply trust that God will be with me and I take a step of obedience God will take that and use it to impact His kingdom’s work.
I didn’t know exactly how things would turn out and I was scared, but I took a step of faith. God must have known I was really scared because a week after my resignation I received a call from a manager at Genentech’s South San Francisco head quarters. He heard about my resignation from the grapevine and wanted to hire me on as a contractor to deliver the weekly new hire training I have delivered several times before. He told me I can work anywhere between 1-4 Mondays a month whatever I can give him. The contract is still being finalized, but he is offering me $1500 per Monday that I would train for 7 hours. One of my biggest financial worries about going full-time was providing for my family, but God heard my prayers. This was such an unexpected provision from God but it proves to me again that He is willing to be with me wherever I go in the most detailed ways.
Another big change for me and Karen this year was the birth of baby Gabby. I cannot believe that this precious life has been entrusted to our care and to raise her up to be a “heroine of God” [this is the meaning of Gabrielle] and a woman of faith. Witnessing Gabby’s birth led me to be in awe of the power of God to create each person in a unique way. During that week of her birth I found myself spontaneously crying out praises to God. “God, you are so faithful and you are a good God!” I was so thankful to God as we witnessed the church embrace her and all these loving aunts and uncles came by to pray for her and adopt her into the family of God. It was such a beautiful thing to witness. Karen and I were worried because we have no idea how to raise a child. We were worried about spoiling her. How do we correct and discipline her? How are we going to raise her to honor God in this quickly decaying culture? We were also fearful that our focus would turn to our child and we would neglect the ministry God had given us. So often blessings in life like career, family, child, and home can become a curse when my priorities get mixed up. Karen and I really want to keep our priorities straight and to keep God as the top priority in our lives. These were some of the fears and concerns about having a child, but knowing that we are placed in a community of faith reassured us that again God will be with us. Each time someone came by, called, sent a card, or when people came to visit and pray for us. I felt God personally loving us.
I want to conclude by sharing a letter written by one of the grandmothers from the Asian Community Nursing Home, a ministry that Waypoint started almost 4 years ago as we bring worship service to the elderly every other Sunday. It’s an example of God’s personal love coming to her. She writes:
Dear Friends, I want to sincerely thank you for coming so we can celebrate Sunday service with you. I was impressed with the message delivered by the young lady. It came from her heart. I felt the same way while listening to the past speakers. I look forward to your coming. Talking to you during visiting hour is my pleasure. You are all outstanding young adults. You are so enthusiastic, friendly, and are caring Christians.
Since I suffered from a stroke eight years ago, I have not opened up the Bible nor read the scriptures. However, a month ago I received a large print Bible. Since then I started reading from the New Testament and I’m learning much of Jesus’ teaching.
I want to thank you for the beautiful soft blanket. I lay it on my bed to give me added warmth when I go to sleep. I want to thank you for your kindness.
May you enjoy good life and many God bless you and keep you in His care. Gratefully yours, Lillian
Why am I sharing this letter with you? I have spoken and prayed with this grandma on many occasions. She is such a sweet and grateful grandma who sings the hymns with all her might and loves to share about the message and her life. For her there are many fears I am sure such her health, the effects of her stroke, family forgetting her, etc. However, she has experienced God’s promise to be with her through our ministry at ACNH. He is there in every message, every time she reads the Bible, and every time she experiences a tender word, a gentle hug, and a warm prayer for her. God is faithful to his promise to be with each of us even in our greatest fears--even death itself. We may be spiritually incapacitated as I was with fear as I was making a very important life decision to go full-time. We may be physically incapacitated like Grandma Lillian who was suffering from effects of a stroke. God knows our fears and no matter the fear God is simply asking for a tiny step of obedience towards Him and he comes running the distance to help us, to bless us, to be with us.
I have experienced so many lessons of God through our key verse this year. There is less fear and worry in me as I approach 2008 because I have learned and experienced in my personal life and through our church that God will be with us wherever we go and I look forward to “something great in 2008.”