I want to share about one couple and their journey as they dated and got married.
Around the time they were going to meet each others’ parents, one of the prayer meeting topics was on financial simplicity. We read an excerpt from a biography of C.T. Studd and his wife Priscilla, early missionaries to China. One of the stories of CT and Priscilla’s courtship on the mission field was about their wedding ring, how CT didn’t have money and gave away all of his considerable inheritance for missions, but there was a ring that Priscilla was given a long time ago, which they used as their wedding ring.
After that, the young man of this couple felt firmly convicted to not spend money on diamonds. But, he was worried about how she would respond. He saw the conflict ahead, not only with his future fiancee, but with her parents who might be offended or disappointed.
I found out later that, after the same prayer meeting and the excerpt, the young woman had felt independently convicted not to get a diamond ring, but she didn’t know how to bring it up to him (especially since he had not proposed yet). She had felt that she really had no qualms about it and thought it was unnecessary extravagance. But, she was concerned about him, whether she would offend him by turning it down.
After he proposed and before he could bring the matter up, she brought it up first. She told him how she felt from the excerpt and prayer meeting, and really did not want a diamond. When she told him, he just listened, nodded, and asked her if she really was sure, and that it was okay with him.
After that got cleared, it was like a huge burden had lifted from her shoulders, and she felt so free. And, as she was recounting this to me, I tell you, she was absolutely beaming! They were of one accord and happy about their decision.
The next hurdle was telling her parents. When she told her parents that he had proposed, they asked, “So, did he give you a diamond ring?” She told them what happened and why. Then, her mother replied, “That’s okay, I don’t have a diamond anymore. You don’t really need it.” And that was that, and both sets of parents have been fine ever since!
As we went ahead with the wedding and reception plans, they said that they did not want a head table at their reception. Rather, they wanted to sit on one of the round tables with their immediate family and be there to share together rather than be off on a head table separately. This was another surprise to us, but I thought it was a great idea. So, there was no elevated head table, but they sat on the ground level with all their guests and at the table with their immediate family.
(She also could not find a wedding dress that was modest enough, so she went ahead and ordered one. The dressmakers made a mistake, delayed it all, and ended up delivering the wrong design which by then was too late to change. But it fit and it was modest, and she was fine with it. She did not give it another thought.)
I could not help but respect them. I remember when I was getting married, how important the diamonds, the wedding dress and all the wedding details were to me, and how they remain so to today’s couples. It – along with many other elements – seemed like a fixed tradition that I was glad to accommodate, but this couple thought otherwise. They made these simple yet powerful steps, perhaps not realizing what a struggle it would be for many others. After the wedding, many people said it was one of the (if not the) sweetest weddings and receptions they’ve attended, and I believe that God honored them before us, as they had honored Him with their wedding plans.